Today Sucks!

It is one of those days... It seems like the last few months I have been waiting for an answer and never receiving one. Begging for an answer and never hearing one.

I am so tired of emotional being beat up on. I told James that I was upset last night and that it is all it took to tear everything apart.

I feel worthless, I feel useless, I feel tired... It is never ending it just keeps going round and round. I am so tired of hearing the same things all the time when things do not go the way that would be best.

I tired of feeling like we never have enough money to make it.

Here is an awesome break in this blog... As I am writing this I receive an e-mail from a friend who tells me that she had been thinking about me this morning after I e-mailed her and just told her that I needed to reach out to someone because I was having a bad day.... Then I get this reply... Without her even knowing what was going on at all...

"That is amazing because you were on my heart this morning and i was already thinking about you a lot! You are such a smart, talented, and beautiful woman! Know that God loves you and knew about today - that it would be tough for you. But He is here to comfort you as am I. Know His promises to bear your burdens for you! He is quick and mighty to save. Oh take heart today, sister! Let me know how you're doing!"

Amazing! Obviously God is listening to me and He does hear me. Here is my reply to her....

"You are awesome! Thank you for listening to God this morning and putting just what I needed to hear in an email to me.

I was so angry until I read your email. I was angry at God for not listening to me and not hearing me. But obviously He is listening and He is hearing me or your words would not have been able to come out so perfect without even knowing what was going on with me.

I am just at a point in my life were I am just so tired. Tired of waiting for answers. Tired of financially not being able to make it. Tired of being in a dead end job. Tired of having to go to the food bank. Tired of telling people that we need help. Tired of not having time to breathe. Tired of crying. Tired of trying to be brave. Tired of being strong for everyone.

You know me and that I am the type that believes that everything is in His hands and He knows what is right for me. I believe that He has a plan and I am waiting on that plan. But sometimes it is so hard to just wait.

Thank you for being here for me this morning. You have no idea how much it means to me!"



I am looking forward to seeing what the rest of God's day has in store for me now.