So much going on!

We have had way to much going on lately. We had a really big weekend.

Friday night we stayed home as far as I remember...lol Saturday we got up and ran around. I went and registered for my new class. Then we went and picked up some smaller desks and a used computer. Then we went home and got the girls and headed to Payette.

We went to a memorial service of a good friend of ours. He was such a great man and a wonderful father to his three beautiful girls. Last year in 2009 he found out he had cancer. So for the last year he has been running around making big memories with his girls. He also accepted Jesus as his savior. I am so happy that he has gone home to our Father. He will no longer have to deal with the pain of cancer. I worry and pray for his girls... It is all in His hands.

Sunday we went to our church service, then to FPU class, and then to a meeting to plan an event to feed 150 families in the area. Ran home and got a bite to eat and settle for a few hours... Then back to the church for a dinner and business meeting. Then grocery shopping.

Man our weekend just really blew by. We are also still moving in all of this wonderful mess.

I have figured out one thing... I don't know what He has planned for me by attending this new class. But I have been at peace somewhere deep inside since I have signed up for the class...

Nervous

Nervous... excited... I don't know!!!!

So I didn't get the job that I was waiting to hear about. I guess God wants me right where I am at. Patience... does that sound familiar? He was telling me that whole time. I was writing it down. He knew... why didn't I hear???

So the other day I am reading my church's newsletter and there is a note in there about a Foundations in Ministry class.
(I am already a FULL TIME student!!!! Come on how interested am I in adding to that????)

But I hear this loud voice in my head saying, "Take that class!" I don't want to take that class. Yes I am interested in that class... But we can't afford it... I don't have the time...

Needless to say I am in the process of signing up for the school and taking that class. I am excited and nervous. I love teaching. I love learning. I love numbers. My daughter says I am going to have degrees, diplomas and certificates in everything. I told her it was so that I can take care of your health, do your books and help you spirituality... :) One stop shop.

In other news we are still living like no one else so that later we can live like no one else. We are selling selling selling...lol

We have... ok James has started moving some of the stuff into the new house. I am starting to really look forward to having a doggie door!!!!! Sara is driving me nuts!

I am flying through my class this mod. I am still working. I am still praying. I am still waiting...lol

Still Waiting...

Man God must want me to learn one big lesson in patience... Why can't I get it? I know that my lesson in grace is mixed in there somewhere too.

I am still waiting to hear back from the job that I interviewed for. Why do I always make it seem that I can make up God's mind for Him? That I can rush Him along. I have to put it into my mind everyday and every moment that God has perfect timing.

In other news...lol

We are currently packing up for the big move. We should be actually taking stuff to the new house but the garage door is broken and just anyone can open it so we are waiting for the owner to fix it before we start taking stuff over.

We are still selling stuff off like crazy. We haven't made any big sells lately. But slowly but surely is working for us. It is going to take months and then a big garage sale in the spring to get through all of the junk that we have piled up.

I am still working through my Beth Moore series. Today it talked about how Jesus was humble enough to wash the disciples feet. Amazing... I pray that I could become like that.

My oldest daughter turned 15 yesterday. Boy that is huge! I have been a mom for 15 years now. I don't feel like I know more now than I knew then. I am still just praying to know the answers.

So here I am... I guess I will go back to waiting now. I should be getting good at it! :)

You are more!

The song "You are more" by Tenth Ave North is an awesome song. I love the fact that we are all more. We are more than what we could even begin to think about. We are completely and totally loved! It is so amazing to think of things that way.

I had three interviews in the last two days. One I didn't get. One I don't want. Then the other I am still waiting to hear on. We will see what His plan is.

We are still selling things like crazy. We need to get back in the groove and take some more pictures of items and get them posted on craigslist. We are falling behind.

Talk about falling behind... I feel like I am falling behind on my school work. But that is ok I will catch up this weekend. I just hate being behind.

We go tonight and sign the lease on our new rental house. I am looking forward to the down sizing and all of that. I am also looking forward to a nicer budget! LOL Speaking of which we have our first family meeting tonight on the budget and pass out commissions to everyone. The girls are getting a big $5 each and James and I are getting $7.50 each. I have no idea what I am going to do with that kind of money!!!! :) I think I will save mine up. But we will see what happens.

Still here... Just waiting to get things to calm down!

Family Meeting

We had our first family meeting last night... ok not our first but our first in a really long time. It was good for all of us to get on the same page with each other and find out what is going on...

We are going to start doing these once a week now to keep up to date with each other and to go through some of the plans that we have learned through FPU.

I have a job interview tomorrow. So I am trying to get ready for that. I am excited about it and I am looking forward to trying some of my new interview ideas out on it.

Tomorrow I also get to spend the day with a really good friend of mine from church. It will be great to be able to sit down and talk to her one on one. I am looking forward to that more than anything else.

I have been working through the Bible study by Beth Moore called 90 days with the one and only Jesus. It is an amazing Bible study and I recommend it to anyone!!! It has brought up something that I had not thought about. It has been a good experience for me.

Tonight I have a Marching Band Booster board meeting. I sat down and got most of the books done last night. It is so hard to stay attached to doing those things when Band season is over.

We are still getting rid of stuff. We sold some stuff last night and we should have some people picking some stuff up tonight. I AM SO HAPPY to be getting out from under all this stuff!!!!!

I will love you for you!

It is so amazing how Jesus loves us just for who we are. Not because of what we have done or what we will do. But just because we are just us.

I need to remember this often. I have been putting on some weight lately. But I have to remember that I am loved not for what this body looks like but just because I am me.

We are still working on cleaning house and getting rid of a bunch of stuff. The other day I felt very overwhelmed by just how much stuff we have to get rid of. It takes forever to list it all on craigslist. So James and I have decided to just start packing for sale boxes with the small stuff in it. That way we can just pull out a box at a time to sale. This helps with having to pack to move also. I do have to say that we have been making some money though! LOL

We are also still working on FPU. We sat down yesterday and went over our budget. It is so nice for both of us to be on the same page. That is worth the cost of the class right there.

I have two job interviews this week. James and I went this weekend and found me a suit to interview in. I am also reading and working through a book called 48 days to the work you love. I feel like this will help me get the job that I am supposed to have.

Jissi's birthday was on Friday. She wanted biscuits and gravy for dinner. Then Saturday we took her and her friends to the movies.

James and I got to spend some good time together this weekend. We went out to a movie together and had dinner. There is a theater here that serves dinner while you watch a movie.

It was a good weekend for me to relax and be able to come back to a job that I really don't want to be at anymore...

I have been going to school for two years for my BS in Accounting. That is still going well. My class is easy this month. So that helps me be able to focus on other things.

I have a great week planned and I am looking forward to what God has planned for me!

Here we go...

I haven't written in a few days because I was going through a rough time. Sometimes when I am going through a rough time I try to keep others out of it. I don't like putting other people through my bad times and putting them into a bad mood.

I am slowly coming out of that though. I learned a huge lesson during this time though. God is listening to me. I just need to remember that. He has been reminding me of the fact that He is listening everyday now.

We are currently going through Financial Peace University (FPU) at our church. After listening to the whole series this week I do have to say that it sounds like it is a great program. There are seven baby steps in FPU the first is to step up an emergency fund with $1,000. We are working through that step right now. I do have to say that while working through just this first step that I am starting to feel peace.

We are going through a big change in our life right now. We are waiting to hear if James got a job in Kentucky. If he did then we need to prepare to move. If he didn't then we need to prepare to move into a smaller place.

Remember I wrote a while back about starting to get rid of stuff. We have started doing that. I got rid of a bunch of books, some scrapbooking punches, and James got rid of a charger thing. We are taking pictures of stuff everyday and posting it on Craigslist to get rid of it. It is crazy how getting rid of just a bunch of junk can relieve stress.

Today Sucks!

It is one of those days... It seems like the last few months I have been waiting for an answer and never receiving one. Begging for an answer and never hearing one.

I am so tired of emotional being beat up on. I told James that I was upset last night and that it is all it took to tear everything apart.

I feel worthless, I feel useless, I feel tired... It is never ending it just keeps going round and round. I am so tired of hearing the same things all the time when things do not go the way that would be best.

I tired of feeling like we never have enough money to make it.

Here is an awesome break in this blog... As I am writing this I receive an e-mail from a friend who tells me that she had been thinking about me this morning after I e-mailed her and just told her that I needed to reach out to someone because I was having a bad day.... Then I get this reply... Without her even knowing what was going on at all...

"That is amazing because you were on my heart this morning and i was already thinking about you a lot! You are such a smart, talented, and beautiful woman! Know that God loves you and knew about today - that it would be tough for you. But He is here to comfort you as am I. Know His promises to bear your burdens for you! He is quick and mighty to save. Oh take heart today, sister! Let me know how you're doing!"

Amazing! Obviously God is listening to me and He does hear me. Here is my reply to her....

"You are awesome! Thank you for listening to God this morning and putting just what I needed to hear in an email to me.

I was so angry until I read your email. I was angry at God for not listening to me and not hearing me. But obviously He is listening and He is hearing me or your words would not have been able to come out so perfect without even knowing what was going on with me.

I am just at a point in my life were I am just so tired. Tired of waiting for answers. Tired of financially not being able to make it. Tired of being in a dead end job. Tired of having to go to the food bank. Tired of telling people that we need help. Tired of not having time to breathe. Tired of crying. Tired of trying to be brave. Tired of being strong for everyone.

You know me and that I am the type that believes that everything is in His hands and He knows what is right for me. I believe that He has a plan and I am waiting on that plan. But sometimes it is so hard to just wait.

Thank you for being here for me this morning. You have no idea how much it means to me!"



I am looking forward to seeing what the rest of God's day has in store for me now.

New Year

It seems like every New Year people all over the world make resolutions... Resolutions to change their life. To do something different. Most of these resolutions fail... At least that is what you hear.

Last year I made a resolution to give more than I received. I feel as if I accomplished my resolution. I may not have given all that I wanted too. I am not made of money. But I did give money, I did give time, I did give support and I did give love. I don't know if I truly gave more than I received. But I know I put my best effort forward and always remembered it in the back of my mind.

I was a completely different person this time last year. I know that I have come a long way. I feel that making that resolution last year allowed Jesus to work in my life and put me where I am at right now. Instead of there being this huge wall between the two of us... (Of course I was the one who built the wall in the first place... :) ) I let some light in. That is all you need to do with Jesus. Just let a little light in. Once you do that hold on because you are in for the ride of your life.

I am attending church again. My relationship with Jesus is so much more than I thought it could be. I quit smoking after 23 years. I lost my job. I got a new job. I stood up for myself. I turned my life over to God. I am broke. I love more. I no longer hate. I hit bottom. I touched the top.

I guess that is why I am putting a lot of thought into my resolution for this year. I don't want to think of it as a resolution because I feel like I have a lot of those this year. I think what I am looking for is my basic theme for the year. What do I want to do more of, be better at, or should I just stay with what is working??? Who knows what I will pick. But I will let you know.

Lets see where this year leads me. As long as I have Jesus I will not be afraid!